Here we go again
by Moondeertribe
Summary: Roxy's thought process after being found outside a bar on her way home. Summaries or for people who are not me sorry


Your name is Roxy Lalonde and you are spending the night next to your used to be best friend, Jane Crocker.

Problem is, you used to love her with every fiber of your being. Even worse, she rejected you.

She invited you to spend the night after she found you in the outskirts of town, after dark, near her work place, you were disappointingly shit faced drunk and stumbling out of a local pub, the bar personnel were flanking your sides and roughly attempting to shove you with the best of their abilities into the cramped back of a taxi when she chimed in and took your hand, your alcohol hazed eyes staring dumbly at her before it registered to you who the person holding you was.

Jane Crocker, your best friend all throughout school. Wow you can't remember the last time you saw each other, it must have been years! You lost contact with her after you got accepted into a prestigious college, leaving in the hope you would get over with your dumb pubescent crush and hopefully on the way get a job worth mentioning.

Over the course of the semester you met other people, and soon after that you thankfully forgot all about the love of your life.

You start to remember how sweet she was to you and a feeling you thought died out a long time ago begins to stir in your chest.

She smiles at you and you forget to breathe.

Shit not again.

You easily convince yourself to resist the urge to kiss her right then and there. You're trained from years of literally swallowing down your emotions that you don't even have to think about it anymore as you return a forced smile. You do, however, allow yourself give her a quick half assed hug and a half understood gargle of a greeting before she gently leads you to her car around the bend.

It's a fucking miracle you manage to get into the car without falling flat on your face.

She takes you back to her place, all the way telling you of her dilemma with some kid called Jake you both knew in high school and how she's been thinking of asking him out, despite the fact he seems painfully oblivious her blatant crush towards him. She runs a hand though her hair and bites her bottom lip, obviously distressed as she describes what she calls the excruciatingly blunt hints she's been dropping for what sounds like decades. Hey Jake wanna bake a cake with me, hey Jake lets hang out, hey Jake you have a little something on your face let me get it, hey, hey Jake, Jake. Hey.

Although you can in fact sympathize with her, you really can't help but to silently scoff at the irony of it all, partly smiling as she gestures wildly in that distinct manor only she could.

She asks you several times mid rant for your opinion on the whole thing, not really waiting for an answer before being set off again; You, of course, are inclined to disagree but instead you keep your mouth shut and opt to turn away and lean on the window, focusing on counting the blurring lights that stream through the lightly frosted window. You think you counted 36 cars when the car hits the driveway, she gives you a quick smile before getting out and circling around to you side, opening your door like the dashing gentle woman lady she is.

You smile like an idiot and give her a melodramatic curtsey of sorts, the simple movement of leaning down nearly knocking your drunk ass to the floor before Jane caught you, your infectious smile planting itself on her face as she gently leads you indoors.

You take advantage and allow your legs to go limp, nearly knocking both of you down into the ice encrusted yard like you would always do when you used visit and she laughs almost as loudly as you despite her semiserious protests.

You can't believe this is for real happening. You cant believe you are actually here.

Once in the house, she sets you on the sofa, running off to the kitchen to fetch you a glass of water before you could get a word in. You smile and shake your head a little before redirecting your attentions to your surroundings, her quaintly decorated house littered with cookbooks and half scribbled papers with recipes on them; you cant help but to feel like it's all strangely befitting of her. You pick up the nearest book and flip though it idly before she bursts through the kitchen door, water in one hand and a cookie in the other.

Oh hell yes.

You find yourself staring at her as she frets over you, studying her plump face, her adorable delicately shaped lips, and her pleasantly shaped, brilliantly colored eyes you remember so clearly it brings a smile to your face.

She's just as pretty as ever.

After handing you both items she sets to work bringing out cushions and blankets to the living room, constructing a comfortable nest of sorts that she lays you in, playing a movie for back ground noise like she used to do when you were both kids, before settling in next you with that dorky makes you melt.

You try hard not to tell her that you think you're still in love her.

You try even harder not to cry when she admits that she missed the heck out of you.

You both lay there for a while in a warm and comfortable silence before you hear her breathing deepen, evening out to a slow rhythm.

Shit did she fall asleep?

You turn to your side and look at her gently snoozing face, her features soft and serene. A fuzzy and warm feeling of affection filling you the brim with the contented happiness you used to always feel when you were around her.

To be honest you didn't think you could fall so quickly all over again.

You feel like it was just yesterday when you pulled her into the darkened corners of the 8th grade school dance and hugged her tightly, your height making it uncomfortable to hold her as you did. You remember how you leaned in close and whispered in her ear that you loved her. You remember the terrifying feeling of her stiffening up under you, your stomach churning as it had when you realized the mistake you had made, your mouth now opening to take back the words then said, emotions beginning to pile up inside of you once more.

Welp it is far too late now, she knows already. The damage is done.

You cringe as you replay the words that spilled out of her mouth after your abrupt confession, how she told you, flat out, that nothing would ever happen between the two of you. Although the words felt as if they ripped your heart right out of your chest and tossed it into an activated garbage disposal you can't help but to appreciate and admire her bluntness all the same.

She didn't lead you on as Jake had when he had a fling with you and then unwittingly crushed your feelings into the dirt, although you know you could never hate her even if she had.

You would never let a simple thing like love ruin what you have with her. Whatever that might be.

Even now you can't help but to feel a spark when she locked eyes with you, her dazzling eyes never failing to bring color to your face. Just remembering her precious smile that grew after seeing you for the first time in a long time made you're heart beat loudly in your ears, and regrettably gave you the smallest glimmer of hope that both of you could maybe be something more.

You sigh lightly and close your eyes before letting yourself drift off into sleep.

Here we go again.


End file.
